For about 6 months
I was the cook
I had a little problem
But I wouldn't let you look

I'm usually very calm
But when the tickets are wavin
I kinda lose my cool
Like a demolition derby in a football stadium

This couple comes in
sneak up to a table
They're rarin' to go
Said "Get over here Mabel"
And then they ordered

Gimme two eggs and one on the side
First one poached and the second one fried
Third one like my momma used to make
You know what I mean don't make me wait

And then the man said,

my woman will have her eggs soft boiled
and we can't have none of that transfat oil
I need gluten free bread and free-range cheese
And we can't have nuts got allergies

So Mabel comes back
Puts the ticket in the basket
I take one look
I think I'm ok but my eye goes spastic

But its no problem no problem it really is no problem
no problem no problem at all

Floppin on the floor like a fish and all they wanted was a special dish
Floppin on the floor like a fish and all they wanted was a special dish
I'm flopping on the floor

I'm havin a
Diner cook meltdown, diner cook - meltdown,
diner cook meltdown

I'm doin much better
I'm takin my pills
I go every morning
and I pay all the bills

Sometimes I still cook
But only when I'm needed
Cause if I get the wrong ticket
I pop out my brain and I put it in a skillet,
I pop out my brain and I put it in a skillet
I pop out my brain

But its no problem no problem it really is no problem
no problem no problem at alllllll

Floppin on the floor like a fish and all they wanted was a special dish
Floppin on the floor like a fish and all they wanted was a special dish
I'm floppin on the floor

I'm havin a
Diner cook meltdown, diner cook - meltdown,
diner cook meltdown